The Aftermath
by wickedlylovely
Summary: when Edward leaves Bella, she doesn't cope as well as Edward had hoped. She never becomes close to Jacob and never jumpped from the cliff. But what happenes to lead Alice back to Forks? What causes Edward to feel so much regreat?
1. I don't want you

"Goodbye Bella" he said in the same quite, peaceful voice.

"wait" I choked out the words, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.

He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant.

"Take care of yourself" then with a light unnatural breeze he was gone.

I took one unstable step forward before I fell.

"Edward" I knew no matter how soft I whispered it he would hear. "You promised me Edward"

I could hear the sound of birds, so I knew he wasn't near. He was gone. They were all gone. They all left me. Even Alice. She didn't even tell me goodbye. His words echoed in my ears _"You're not good for me, Bella_" I always knew I wasn't good enough for him. And now he knew it to. He had come to realize that he could do better than me. That he didn't really love me.

I noticed it was getting darker. Charlie would be home soon. _"I'm thinking of Charlie of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself" _The only reason he even cared if I was ok was because of Charlie. He cared more about Charlie than he did me!

I realized I was sobbing then. Breath taking, body shaking, sobs that rocked every inch of my body. It was hard for me to calm down enough to stand. If Edward could pretend he _did _care then I could pretend that I didn't care. Right?

I started walking back along the path that he had lead us on. I had just reached the edge of the forest when I saw Charlie's cruiser pull in behind my truck. When I was close enough for him to see me, he ran to close the distance.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong? Where is Edward? Are you hurt? Why are you crying?" Charlie reached to grab me into a hug. I moved out of his grasp and said " I'm fine dad, really. I just need to be alone ok?"

"where is Edward? Why where you in the woods alone?" I stopped walking toward to door and turned to look at my dad. " I wasn't alone. He took me there to tell me he was leaving. He's gone dad and would rather not talk about it ok? I'm just going to go up to my room, can you order pizza?"

I didn't wait for him to answer, I just walking into the house and up the stairs. There was something I had to find. Please, please, let it still be there, I thought to myself. I walked into my room and headed for the stereo. I hit the open button, only to find it empty.

I sunk to the floor. No. He took it. My lullaby.

I curled into a ball and cried. I didn't care that Charlie could hear. I didn't care that I said I wouldn't let my hurt show.

I was still crying when Charlie came in a few hours later. I know he hates female tears and for him I tried to stop but it only got worse. How could he do this to me? Why did he pretend to care for me? Why couldn't he have just left me alone in the beginning. I regretted the thought as soon as I had it, but it was there anyway. He should have just let James kill me. The pain form that day was still fresh in my mind. I would take on all the pain James had for me, just to take this pain away.

"Bella? Come here honey. Let me get you in the bed."

I didn't move. I don't think I would have been able to. I felt Charlie lift me up onto the bed.

"why is the window open? Its freezing in here" Charlie mumbled. I knew he didn't mean any harm by the comment. That didn't change my reaction. If the way I had been scared Charlie before, the new stream of sobs must have nearly given him a heart attack.

I felt him run his hands up and down my back. "shh Bella its ok. Shh. He is an idiot to leave you. He will come back. It will all be ok. don't you remember when you broke up with him. It all worked out. Well except you falling down the stairs."

"Its o-okay C-ch-Charlie ill be f-f-fine" I managed to choke the sentence out. Charlie seemed to debate it for a second before he gave me a final pat and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Finally sleep overcame my grief stricken body. And I dreamed. I dreamed of my angle. The angel in the sunlight, sparkling beautifully. Then he turns to look at me. He smiles that dazzling crooked smile and melts my heart.

Then his smile fades and his liquid golden eyes turned hard and black.

" I don't want you. I don't love you. You were just a distraction to me."

I woke up screaming. Charlie came busting through the door looking around my room. I was still screaming when Charlie got to my bed and grabbed me in a tight hug.

"Bella its ok. Shh I'm here. Its ok."

I silently wept in my fathers arms as the dream continued to haunt me.

_I don't want you, I don't want you, I don't want you_


	2. Unbeautiful

**5 Months Later**

As I sat up in the bed, I noticed how lightheaded I felt. I needed to eat again. I stood up beside my bed, but before I knew what had happened I was back on the bed. I looked over at the bedside clock and thirty minutes had past since I stood up.

I sighed and _slowly_ got up. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. What I saw should have shocked me, but after months of this face staring at me, I was used to it. My face was as pale as one of _theirs_, my eyes were sunken in and hollow. If I had seemed breakable before, I now looked as if a feather could knock me down

None of my clothes fit anymore. They were all to big. I knew it made Charlie worry that I had lost so much weight. And my appearance alone was enough to make anyone worry. Except me. I didn't really care what happened to me. _He _wasn't here, so nothing mattered anymore.

When I got downstairs, Charlie was already gone. I wasn't much for company and the people around me accepted it. So much for the saying misery loves company.

I grabbed an apple and forced it down. I didn't want to go back to the hospital and I knew if I passed out in front of anyone, that's exactly where I was headed. I shuddered at the thought. I hated hospitals. They reminded me to much of the family I lost.

Stop. don't think about it. I put my head on the table and closed my eyes. It was a Saturday, so there wasn't much to do. If given the choice I would just stay in bed but I knew it worried Charlie to much.

I decided to go into town. Let Forks see me out and about. Maybe then they wouldn't watch me as much.

I climbed in my truck and backed into the road. When I arrived in town, my truck got just as many looks as it did my first day in town. Well considering I hadn't been anywhere but school since that day in the woods, I guess it was the same.

I was so lost in thought that I wasn't paying attention to where I was heading. When I looked around, I saw where I was headed and slammed my foot on the breaks.

I never wanted to be on this road again. Why I went this way, I don't know. Every sane part of me screamed to turn around and go back home. To forget I had ever came here. That's what I should have done.

As I urged the truck forward, I feel my heart slamming in my chest, and my breath coming in quick gasps. Why am I doing this? Its not going to do any good.

When I reached the driveway, I stopped the truck and thought about what I was doing.

Why I felt I had to come here I don't know. I just knew I had to. I started the truck and continued to the house. The driveway had never seemed as long before. Every other time I had been here I had something to look forward to. I was dreading it this time.

When I saw the house I was shocked. It was so empty. I stepped out of the truck and made my way to the front door. Considering vampires weren't afraid of anything, I doubted the door would be locked, so I turned the knob. The door swung open just like it always had.

I was hit with the smell of dust and emptiness. I walked in and looked around. The furniture was still in the same place it was the night of my 18th birthday party. The night that ruined my life.

I sighed and walked up the stairs. When I passed Alice's room I peeked in. she had taken all of her things. A small smile crossed my face. Alice would never leave any of her hard shopped for items to collect dust.

I continued until I reached the last room. _His_ room. I took a deep breath and walked in. everything was exactly the same. He even left his music. I walked over to his stereo and pressed play. Clair de Lune filled the room. I backed away until I felt the black leather couch, and sat down. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the tears fall on my hands.

I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself. If I broke down here, Charlie would definitely put me back in the hospital.

I stood up and walked slowly back down the stairs. I went to where his piano used to be. I stood there for a minute, remembering when we would sit and he played for me. The tears started again so I didn't hear him at first. I probably wouldn't have anyway.

"Why are we crying little Bella?"

I jerked around and look straight into the black eyes of Laurent. He licked his lips as he made his way closer to me. I knew that his eyes meant he was hungry. And that spelled out trouble for me.

"Looks like they left you all alone. That I would have never have expected. I do wonder what happened to cause that" he laughed. He was now close enough to reach out and touch me cheek. I shivered at the ice cold touch.

I watched as he inhaled my sent. I needed to get out of here. He was hungry and I was the only human close by.'

"I, um, I really should be g-g-oing. It, it was umm nice to see you, Laurent." I started to back away from him, making my way to the door.

"Why would you be in such a hurry, Bella? You cant have much waiting for you. I mean from what I have observed," he smiled, showing all of his ominous teeth, "you should be begging me to end all your pain. Oh if poor little Edward was here to see you now. I don't think he would find you as appealing. Well your blood still has its draw" he laughed now.

He had been watching me. I hadn't even known. How close had he gotten?

My legs were running before I even took notice of it. I knew I wouldn't escape him, but at least I could say I tried. I heard Laurent's growl and tried to run faster. It didn't help any. When I got to the door I turned to see him leap at me. Next I was on the floor screaming as I felt him sink his teeth into my wrist. As I felt the life being drained out of me.

Suddenly he dropped my hand and was gone. I felt the burning in my hand and knew what was happening. I was turning. As the fire traveled up my arm, I turned to look at the spot where Edwards piano had been.

Before I blacked out, I heard a gentle, bell like voice scream. " Bella! No, Bella!


	3. The Fire

Pain. It was the only thought my brain would let me have while trapped in the darkness. I could feel my tiny body flipping and twisting in pain. It felt as if there were a fire pulling all my organs in different directions.

Every once in a while I could hear the screams that ripped from my throat. Through the fire raging across every inch of my body, I could feel something cold touch me.

I don't know how long I had been in the fire. I really don't see how I could live through all the pain. What James had done was nothing compared to the amount of pain I was feeling now.

I heard the screaming again, as the fire burned through my chest, ripping what was left of me apart. I was to the point of begging for death. I didn't hear the words come out of my mouth, but it felt like someone had heard it and decided to listen.

The pain in me seemed to double. The screaming continued and I was thrashing everywhere. It was as if someone had thrown gasoline on the fire that engulfed my body. My heart was thudding in my chest so hard, there was a possibility it could burst right out and end it all. My breathing was ragged and rushed. Surely, I had to be about dead. There was no way I could live through this much pain.

Slowly, almost to slowly, the pain felt like it was lessening. At first in my hand, then my arm. My screaming lessened as well. As the pain went away, I could make out my surroundings more. I was in his room, on the leather couch. I felt something, not exactly warm but not cold either, patting my face. Then I heard the bells. They almost sounded like singing.

The all at once I was free from the pain. I was able to think clearly and I could smell _everything_. The woods, the dust, and, no it couldn't be. I inhaled again. It was a sweet smell. A scent that was very familiar. I was afraid to open my eyes. Afraid at what I would see.

"Bella, can you hear me? Its Alice. Oh Bella I'm so sorry. I tried to get here before… I was to late. Please Bella, you just have to be ok." I felt her soft hands on my forehead. Wait…Alice's hands soft? What was going on?

I opened my eyes to see Alice sitting beside me with a look of fear on her perfect little face. I just stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. Finally I spoke to her.

"umm Alice what's going on? Why are you here? Why am I here?"

She sighed and stood up taking a step away from me. What I had I done? Why was Alice leaving? I had to stop her before she left me again.

"Please don't leave me Alice. I don't want to be alone again." I went to her and wrapped her in my arm. It felt so good to have her here again. I held on as tight as I could, afraid to let go, in case she left.

"Ow, Bella not so hard."

I took a step back and looked at her, confused. Did Alice just say ow? Why was she hurt? There was nothing that could hurt her. What was going on here?

"Bella, do you remember what happened?" I shook my head. I had no clue what was happening now. All I could remember from before was pain. Horrible pain. Like a fire…

Whatever emotion that showed on my face much have scared Alice because she backed away from me at vampire speed. Instead of seeing a blur like I was so used to, I saw it perfectly clear. It only confirmed what I should have already known.

"Bella?"

The uncertainty in her voice made me nervous. Why would she be afraid of me? There was no way I would ever be a reason to cause Alice any fear. So why was she acting as though I could rip her apart?

"Are you calm Bella? Please be honest. I don't think we can take any chances right now." The way she was looking at me made me even more nervous. Why was she acting like this?

"Alice why are you talking to me like that? Can you please explain what's going on? Was…was I changed?"

Alice took a step toward me. She still seemed nervous to be close to me, but at least she wasn't running from me. She sat on the couch and patted the space beside her.

"Come here Bella. Obviously Edward really was intent on not letting you be turned.

" in case you don't remember Laurent was here. He attacked you. I managed to get here before he could finish, but I was to late to stop the venom from spreading. oh Bella, I have never heard something so horrifying as that. I have never seen someone being turned personally so I wasn't sure if that was normal. So I called Carlisle. I told him what was going on, not that he couldn't hear it himself. He should be here shortly."

The breath caught in my throat. They were coming here. Alice apparently knew where my thoughts where.

"It should be only Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper. They rest may come later."

My breathing accelerated and I expected my heart to speed up. It was then that I noticed there was no heartbeat. I had finally gotten the one thing I wanted. And now there was no reason to live forever.

"Bella? Calm down please. I know you must hate me but you would still feel bad if you hurt me."

Her comment made me stop short. What did she mean by that? Why would I hate her? I could never hate her, or any of the Cullens for that matter.

"what? Alice what are you talking about?" she was confusing me beyond belief.

She looked at me for a second before she asked "What did Edward tell you about newborns? Better question. Did the two of you ever really discus you being changed?"

I thought back. My memories where fuzzy, but there. I went through every conversation Edward and I had about my being changed. In every case, he always did the one thing that would shut me up. He kissed me. It was one of the clearest memories I had. His cold lips pressed against mine. I sighed.

Alice took my sigh as an answer. "that's what I thought. Ok Bella consider this newborn 101

When you have been changed, your human memories aren't as clear. As you probably remember from Edward's experience. But the reason I have been…uneasy around you is, newborn vampires are a lot stronger than those of us that have been around a while. And they are a lot easier to upset. The two usually don't mix well together."

I sat and stared at her. We sat like that for a while, until Alice stood and reached for me. I held my hand out and she took it.

"Bella, I love you and all but you are a mess. A very _bloody_ mess. I was afraid to change you in case, well, um in case you freaked out on me."

I had to laugh at her. It was a strange sound. I hadn't heard my laugh in so long that it would have been strange to me. Except this laugh was something I had never heard before. It reminded me of the bell like tinkle of Alice's laugh.

Then I remembered something else that slipped my memory. All vampires were amazingly, breathtakingly, beautiful. And I was a vampire now.

I left Alice standing in Edwards room and went to the bathroom. The sight I saw in the mirror took my breath away. I was beautiful. Then I saw my eyes. The warm chocolate brown was gone. Replaced with a dark crimson red.

The next thought I had, made me sink to my knees. I would never be able to see Charlie again. It was something I had forgotten. I was so used to the Cullens easy going nature around humans that I had forgotten the main thing they craved was human blood. And even with as much self restraint as all the Cullens had, it was still a challenge at times. I would always want to kill. Even the people that meant the most to me like Charlie and Renée.

Just then Alice came in with a worried look on her face.

"umm Bella, we are about to have some company . Please be calm no matter what."

As she said it, I head the door slam and I knew we weren't alone. Then the smell hit me. _His _scent.

"Alice!"

It took a moment for me to notice that I was shaking. When I looked up at Alice she had a look of fear on her face. The next thing I knew I was looking into the eyes of Edward Cullen.

"No Bella, why?" the pain in his voice was evident.

Then I noticed a look of pure confusing on both Alice and Edwards face. They looked around the room like they had never seen it before.

"where did she go Alice? What's going on? Are you the one who turned her?"

The look she gave him was the most menacing thing I had ever seen. Edward backed away from her.

" I'm sorry Alice. I shouldn't have even thought it. But we have to find her before she hurts someone."

What were they talking about? Why are they saying they have to find me when I'm standing right in front of them?


	4. Waiting

**Edward's POV**

_I don't know who to be more worried about. The crazy girl or the crazy boy._

The growl sneaked through my teeth before I could catch it. I looked over at Emmett sitting on the couch, looking guilty.

_sorry man. I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just worried about the both of you. Just let Alice try again. I mean, she said she thought she was close to something. Let her try._

I slowly shook my head. Why couldn't they understand? Bella is exceptionally stronger than anyone in this house. If something happened to Alice, I'd never forgive myself. Bella wouldn't handle it well either.

I turned to look back at her. She hadn't moved one inch since we discovered her.

I let my thoughts drift back to last week. As soon as I saw her, I knew I had been to late. She was changed. Because of me, her life had been taken away from her. Her eyes crimson red with the remnants of her sweet blood.

"_No Bella why?"_ why her? Of all the humans in Forks, _She_ had to be the one to cross paths with a hungry vampire. Danger magnet.

Then, as I had always feared, although not quite so literally, she disappeared right in front of my eyes. It was so sudden. One second she was there, the next she was gone, as though she had never been there. Or at least we thought she was gone.

It took her a few moments, I assume to realize we couldn't see her, to reappear.

"_Where did you go Bella? Bella? Are you ok? Look at me. Edward look at her!"_

I hadn't known what Alice was talking about at first. I couldn't stop staring at the blood in her eyes. Something I had never wanted to see. I always wanted to look at my Bella and see her warm brown eyes. Not red. Never red.

But when I did tear my gaze away, I noticed immediately what Alice was talking about.

From the waist down, Bella was gone. I was completely taken aback. I did not know what to make of it.

Bella seemed to notice what we were looking at, and glanced down. Her scream continued to echo in my ears.

But as soon as she began to scream, her lower half appeared. She reached down and touched her legs. A slight gasp slipped from her lips, and she sank to the floor.

Alice had tried to get her to respond but nothing she did got through to Bella. She just sat there. She hasn't moved since. Not once. She hadn't even hunted yet.

Her eyes were black now, easier for me to look at. But the one time I went to her, she disappeared. It took Alice a whole hour to convince Bella to return visible again. I didn't try to go to her again.

The pain was unbearable. I had been right. She hated me. Her life had been taken from her and it was my fault. There was no way she could forgive me.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a tiny little voice saying a very unladylike word.

I sighed. Alice was trying to look ahead again. But because Bella wouldn't make a decision to do anything, Alice couldn't see anything but a million fuzzy maybes.

I should never have left. Alice had been right, as always. She had told me that leaving Bella would be something I would come to regret. I just hadn't thought this was a possibility. I didn't think about Laurent as a threat. When James had started tracking my Bella, he had been the one to warn us.

But while I was off trying to track Victoria, he had been here, hurting the person I love the most.

The sudden rage I felt was so intense it took Jasper by surprise, and he immediately sent a wave of calm to me. I had told him not to change the way I felt. I deserved to feel this pain, no matter what my family said.

"Stop it Jasper." I said it gently, because I know he did it out of reflex, but with enough force that he stopped immediately. All my emotions flooded back to me at once, that it was almost unbearable.

Jasper had tried calming Bella, but he had no effect on her. He could still feel her. The hurt, the pain ,the sadness, the confusion. And the hate. But no matter how hard he tried he could not change the way she was feeling.

If it were possible, I would curl in a ball and cry. How I wished for the ability. But such things were not possible. Not for us. Not for Bella.

I heard Carlisle in his study. He was trying to hard to figure out a way to help her. He was so worried about her. All of us were. Well almost all.

Rosalie thoughts were something I usually avoided on a daily bases if I could help it. Now I did it simply to keep from hurting her. She was convinced Bella had done this on purpose. That she had come here _hoping_ there was a willing vampire here.

Bella would never want this. Despite her asking for it before we left. Bella was good. Honestly, purely good. She deserved better than this, better than me. If only I had had the strength to stay away from her. I could have saved her from this.

I laid my head against my knees. I sat across the room from her. Close enough to watch over her, but far enough away that she wouldn't disappear.

I, just as Bella, had not moved from here. I couldn't. I had to watch over her, to make sure nothing ever happened to her ever again. I would sit her for the rest of eternity if I must. I would not leave my love again.

I was watching her, thinking again about how I wish I could have stopped this, when it happened.

Bella stood up and looked around. It reminded me of the first time I brought her home.

She stopped before her gaze landed on me. She walked over to Alice and hugged her. The look of love was evident on both their faces.

"don't do that to me again Bella you had me so worried. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't see what was going to happen. There were so many possibilities. You need to hunt. So does Edward. The two of you should go."

I could see Bella stiffen at the mention of my name and it sent a whole new wave of pain through my body.

"No. I mean, would you come Alice? I would like to talk to you." Bella looked down at the floor and I noticed her bite on her lower lip. Something she did when she was nervous.

Alice tired to look ahead, to see what Bella needed to talk to her about but all she could see was the forest.

"Yes Bella. Of course. Lets go" Alice glanced over at me before turning to leave with Bella.

_I'm trying so hard to see Edward but I can't. Its as if something is blocking me. She does have something to tell me, that much I'm certain of . I just cant see what it is. _

I heard Bella and Alice run out into the forest. For the first time since this began I stood up.

I was in the garage and in my Volvo before I knew what I was doing. I needed to take a drive. I knew Bella would be safe with Alice.

I pulled out of the dive and took off down the road, seeing nothing except a pair of brown eyes I would never see again.


	5. hunting

**Bella's POV**

As Alice and I ran, I thought about everything. It was hard to grasp everything that had happened. It seemed unreal. Like it was all just a dream. Any moment I would wake up and they would all be gone. I would be alone again.

I blocked the thoughts that came to mind and concentrated on following Alice. I wasn't sure where she was heading. Somewhere away from humans I know. I remember a conversation Edward and I had about hunting. He said I could never see him hunt because it would be to dangerous. That he would lose control and end up killing me.

I sighed. I knew I would have to talk to him soon. The amount of guilt he was feeling was outrageous. It was not his fault this happened. He cant take responsibility for everything that happens in my life. No one expected him to.

I stopped when I smelled them. I few deer where close. I felt the venom pool in my mouth. If deer smelled this good, I definitely wouldn't be going around any humans for a long time.

When we were finished feeding, I felt extremely better. Now it was time for me to talk to Alice about what I knew.

"Alice? There are a few things I need to tell you."

I watched as she hesitantly turned to face me. This was going to be hard.

I sighed and sat down on a fallen tree. I thought about how to start. There would be no beating around the bush with it. I would just have to spit it out.

"while I was…thinking, I noticed some things. I know how all of you were wondering how I manage to…disappear. I don't know how exactly, but I know when I'm thinking about not wanting…_him_ to see me like this, that's usually when it happens. Then after I disappeared when he came to sit beside me, while you were trying to get me to come back, I wanted to know how he felt. And…well, I did. I mean when I thought about it, I felt it. Just like jasper. Honestly I don't see how he can do it. I felt everything. And I really am sorry I put you through that Alice. I just couldn't bring myself to move.

"But this brings me back to what I really needed to talk to you about. When I picked up everyone's emotions, one stood out. You probably already know who I'm talking about"

She nodded and put her hand in mine, giving a gentle squeeze.

"I need you to talk to him Alice. The guilt he's feeling, its stupid. He cant take responsibility for what happened. I mean I know he feels he has to take everything on himself, but it shouldn't make him feel this way. It was so painful. If he keeps beating himself up over this, he'll never find anyone else."

My voice broke. I knew that if I were still able to cry, I would be right now. Not having tears was probably going to be one of the perks of being a vampire. And like I hadn't told Alice yet, I could keep her jasper and Edward all from using their abilities on me.

I was so lost in thought that I hadn't been paying attention to Alice's reaction. When I looked at her, her face was a mixture of confusion, anger and sadness. I thought about how useful it would be to know what she was thinking, like Edward.

_how can she not see it? Or feel it for that matter. The fact that she honestly thinks Edward would want anyone but her, its absurd!_

Whoa. Did I…? how? This was _really _getting weird.

Then the thought came to me. What if…no, it cant be.

"Alice, I want you to try to see the next stupid thing Emmett will do. don't ask just do it ok?"

She looked confused but she closed her eyes and tried. I did the same

It came fast. Just a blur, but I could see it. Emmett was standing in a pharmacy, looking at flavored condoms. _" man I so should have thought about this before Bella changed. I loved seeing her go so red. Oh well the look on her face is still going to priceless."_

I laughed at the same time as Alice. Time to test my theory. See if this was really happening or if I was just delusional.

"Alice please tell me you didn't see Emmett at a pharmacy" the look of total surprise crossed her face.

"that's what I thought" I sighed. I might as well get this one over with.

"umm Alice I think I can see the feature. And read minds and picked up peoples emotions."

I expected her to be shocked or worried. I did not, however, expect her to laugh. She curled into a tiny ball and continued to laugh. Her face was so amused I had to join her.

Once we calmed down, she turned to look at me.

" im going to assume that unlike Jasper and Edward, you can stop it."

How had she known that? I wasn't even sure of it myself.

" I only say that because if you had been reading _everyones_ mind you wouldn't have said what you did about Edward. And as for me talking to him, im sorry bella but I really think that is a conversation for the two of you to have. And don't think so low of Edward. I know it hurt you when he left, but it hurt him to."

With that she stood up and started to run back to the house. I was right behind her within seconds.

What did she mean? was there a possibility that Edward still care? No. I couldn't let myself think that. I would only get my hopes up just to have them crushed. I couldn't handle it.

When we reached the house I knew he wasn't here. He was gone. My heart sunk. He left again. He wouldn't come back.

Before I had a chance to sink farther into my thoughts, as I had before, jasper came up to me.

"don't worry Bella. He isn't gone for long. He just needed some time to think. He will be home soon. He wouldn't be able to leave you for long again anyway" jasper smiled and walked over to sit with Alice.

I looked around to see everything was as it had been before they left. I saw Edward's piano in the corner and went to go sit.

I felt their eyes on me. I reached my mind out to see what they were thinking.

_She is confused. I don't understand why. Its obvious how much he care for her. _jasper had to be confusing about what he thought Edward was feeling for me. I remember all to clearly what Edward had said that day.

_I still cant believe she actually thought that about Edward. Wait, crap, I need to be careful. Oh this is going to be a fun house. Not one but two mind readers. _

I had to laugh at her. I didn't know how annoying it was to have someone read my mind, but I would try not to pry to much. They deserved to have some privacy.

I put my head down on the cool piano and waited for Edward. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation.


	6. The Volurti

I heard when Edward pulled back into the drive. Like Jasper had said, he hadn't been gone long. I still had no clue what to say to him.

When he walked in the room, I didn't even need Jasper's power to feel the tension in the room. I knew they were looking back and forth between Edward and myself. I had to get this over with. It came to me quickly then. I knew what I was going to have to do. It wouldn't be easy, but it was the best for everyone.

"Can I talk to everyone for a second, please."

As everyone gathered in the living room, I looked quickly at Edward. He was staring down at his hands. It only made me feel that I was making the right decision, I had to let him go.

I heard Alice screaming in her head. _Bella no, don't you dare! Please don't. I missed you so much please don't do this to me. To Edward._

I blocked her out of my mind. This was something I had to do. I had to get through this. If I were still human I know I would be crying uncontrollably. I finally had them back in my life, and I had to leave them. But I needed to protect the family I loved.

" I really appreciate everything you all have done for me, I really do. I just…I just need…something more. I mean I feel the same way about you as you do for me, but I think it would be best if I leave. I will miss you all. Goodbye."

And with that I was gone. I don't think any of them had time to realize what had happened before I ran.

That was the hardest thing I have ever done. To walk away from a family full of vampires I love more than my life itself. I remembered Alice's face. It was so heartbroken. I knew I had hurt her, but like Edward had said, they have distractions. And besides, I'm sure Jasper wont let her hurt for to long.

I ran forever. I did not know where I was. I didn't really care. I stopped in the middle of a forest and sobbed, dry painful sobs.

I sat there for days. All I could think was that I had to live with this pain everyday for the rest of time. Everyday it would only get worse.

Maybe not. What was it Edward had said to me that day we watched Romeo and Juliet? _You don't irritate the Volurti, not unless you want to die._

I didn't have to feel this pain everyday. It could end. Like everything else. I wouldn't hurt anyone else either. I thought back to the look on Alice's face when she realized what I was going to leave. that's it. That is what I will do.

The only thing Edward had told me was that the Volurti protected the secret. So, the only thing I had to do was provoke them enough for them to have no other choice then to kill me.

And with that I was on my way to Italy. On my way to end the pain that I felt all through me.

* * *

**Edwards POV**

She was gone. She hated me so much that she left. She couldn't stand to be around me. The pain of rejection was so intense.

I had been sitting here since she left. Remembering her words.

I was still thinking when Alice had the vision. I saw it so clearly. It was clearer than any other vision she ever had.

I saw Bella standing in front of Aro, he was telling he how disappointed her was that she would expose our secret to humans in such a way. And that she was lucky he was interested in her. The look of shock crossed Bella's mind for just a second, then turned to disbelief. _"you know what I want Bella. And you know what I will do to get it. Either you do as I say, or he will die."_

she nodded and replied _"yes…master."_

"NO!!" I jumped up. No. this was not happening. Aro cant do this. He cant have her.

I was down the stairs faster than anyone. Alice was already at the door. She knew what I was going to do, what I had to do. There was no way she would ever be Aro's slave.

"Edward we have to act fast. Bella has powers that are exceptional even for us. Any power she sees…she can mimic. Aro will do whatever he can to keep her. We have to get to her before she sees him. I cant tell when it will happen. We could be to late already"

"no. we cant be to late Alice. We…we just have to get there in time. We have to" I don't think I would be able to live with myself if we didn't.

We ran to the airport. It was hard to slow down enough for Alice to keep up. When we got to the airport it was all I could do to wait for the plane to take off.

I'm coming Bella. I'm coming. Ill save you I swear this time I will.


	7. The Race

It took all the control I had to sit on that plane, without screaming at the pilot to speed up. It was irrational, I know but it was hard to wait while every second that passed my Bella was coming closer to becoming the slave of a monster.

I felt the slap of Alice's hand connecting to the back of my head, but it took a second to register it in my mind.

_Edward, don't you dare hijack this plane. It wont fly any faster, no matter who is flying it. You will just cause problems._

I knew she was right. I sighed and laid my head back on the seat. There was no way I was going to be able to sit here the rest of the flight. How could I, when she was so close to danger. Sin danger, again, because of me. I should never have spoken to her. I should have just stayed hidden in the shadows, keeping watch. Just make sure she didn't get hurt, something she was very good at.

Finally the plane landed. I was off the before anyone else had the chance to even get up.

When Alice finally caught up, we looked for something to drive. Alice went straight for a yellow 911 turbo Porsche. If we made it out of here I would have to remember to get her one.

I drove as fast as I could push the little car. It still wasn't fast enough. Nothing could be. We reached Volterra within minutes. The streets were crowded and it took a moment for me to realize it was St. Marcus day. A celebration for father Marcus, Marcus of the Volurti , who drove out all the vampires from Volterra fifteen hundred years ago.

It was broad daylight, which made getting in the city more difficult. There was no way I could wait until twilight to find her.

Alice knew where my thoughts where going, she was already looking ahead to see what we could do. She saw us cloaked in dark robes, and heading toward a dark ally.

It didn't take long to find the robes, they were selling them all around the streets. Along with plastic teeth with fangs.

We found the ally easily. It was the only place on the street that wasn't crowded. Even when they had no clue, the human survival sense knew what to avoid. It seemed as though it was a strong sense in every human except when Bella was human. She never ran away from danger. If she had she would never have been around me. She would have lived a long safe life, gotten married and had kids. That's what her life should have been.

Alice snapped me out of my thoughts.

_we don't have time for that Edward. We have to find her. She has already gone to ask them for…death. They wont give in to her request. Aro is much to interested in her. They will try to convincer her to join them._

"NO! Alice where is she now? We have to get her out of here."

Alice stopped walking, closing her eyes and searched. What she saw horrified me.

There was my little precious Bella standing beside Aro, with a black hooded cloak. She had her head bowed listening to everything Aro told her. Then they brought in a group of freighted looking humans. It didn't take long for the look of realization to cross Bella's face.

When the vision ended I was more fearful then before, if that were possible. Bella was still a newborn. She couldn't control herself. Even if there were no bloodshed, it would be very difficult for her. But I knew, from Carlisle's thoughts, that the entire guard would be feasting on theses unsuspecting humans. All the blood, it would be difficult for me to resist, so I knew Bella would be just as thirsty. Then she would think of herself as a monster just as I was.

It made me that more determined to find her. I didn't care that there could be someone watching, I ran as fast as I could. I thought back to the memories I had seen in Carlisle's head. I knew exactly where to go.

When we reached the tunnel to the Volurti's place, I ran faster still. I barely heard Alice's scream.

"Edward stop!"

I turned to see her face twisted in horror. I didn't even have time to see the vision in her mind before the guard hand both of us pinned.

"ah so this is the wonderful Edward! I have been waiting for you." I knew that voice for Carlisle's memories. Jane. I also knew what she was capable of. She was a terrifying little monster.

Alice, unfortunately didn't know the things Jane was capable of. She fought with the guard member that held her captive.

"Alice, no! stop!" but it was to late. She screamed in pain. Jane could cause you to feel terrible pain. But you were not actually hurting. It was just a trick of the mind. She made you _think_ you were suffering from intense pain. That didn't stop it from hurting though.

Alice was still withering and screaming in pain as Jane simply glared at her.

"Stop."

The voice came from no where. It was a voice I would have recognized anywhere.

_Bella_

I twisted in Jane's arms to look at her. It was a heartbreaking sight. There stood my one love, the sweetest, most beautiful person in the world, looking so intensely…evil.

"Bella, no."

She turned and looked at me, smiling. It wasn't her smile though. It was something menacing. She looked so terrifying. She wasn't Bella like this. She couldn't have been her long and she had changed so much. I had to get her out of her, any way possible.

"You should not have come here Edward." Bella sneered at me.


	8. Death

**Edward's POV**

What had happened to my Bella? That was the only thought I could have as they lead us to the end of the tunnel. Now more then ever I wished I could read her mind. She hadn't been here long, so how could she have changed so much? At least her eyes were gold, not crimson.

When we reached the end, there was a bright room ahead, and I knew it was where Aro and the rest of the Volurti we held. It was the end. I knew we were going to die. At least I was going to be able to see her before I was sent to Hell.

_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen if you do not stop with those thoughts I will rip you apart myself! _

I looked at Alice, though I knew the thoughts hadn't come from her. The voice sounded like…but there was no way that was possible. I can't read Bella's thoughts. So why had I heard her so clearly when she hadn't said a word?

_ugh! To be over a hundred you are pretty slow. I know Alice told you that I can mimic another vampires abilities. don't you think if you can read peoples minds, that there might be someone who can _send _their thoughts to someone? You would be surprised at all the different abilities the Volurti have here. Its no wonder they are so powerful! But that's besides the point! Edward why did you come here! You should have stayed in Forks. You are just making all this harder. Its going to take forever to convince Aro to let you and Alice leave!_

Bella can…wait a minute. How? And what did she mean by 'making all this harder' how could she possibly want to stay with these monsters?

_Edward I don't want to stay but I have to. Its to complicated to explain. And I would rather not get into it now. Right now I just have to get you and Alice out of here safely. Just please work with me here. don't try to save me. Its to late for me. But I will not have the two of you stuck here with me. Just please do exactly as I say._

What is she talking about? How can I leave her here? There is no way I was going to just walk away from her. I love her and I will _not_let the Volurti keep her for their own personal gain.

I heard Bella sigh. I knew she was in my mind and I didn't care. She could be mad at me all she wanted. But I was not walking away from her. I did that once already and it was the reason we were here. Because of my stupidity.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

Why did he have to make everything so complicated? He should just leave with Alice and forget about me. It was to late for me. Aro had me as his prisoner, forever. I thought back to my first moments with my new _master_.

_when he let go of my hand, I knew what he was planning. He wanted me as part of his guard, and would do anything in his power to make it happen. He had seen how much Edward and the rest of the Cullens meant to me. He planned to use that knowledge._

"_Isabella, I see great potential with you. I want you to stay here, with me, and be a close member of my guard. And, if you refuse my offer, I cant guarantee the safety of you precious Edward. Say one of my guard were to happen to be in forks and come across Edward, or any of the Cullens for that matter, I would not be able to guarantee that no harm would come of them. But if you were part of the Volurti, you could personally keep the Cullens safe."_

There was nothing I could have done. I had to keep my family alive. I owed them that much. So I had agreed to Aro's terms. I had not anticipated on Edward and Alice's little rescue mission. Not until Demetri had known they were here. I hadn't though about Alice's visions. But still for them to fly across the world, it was preposterous!

When we reached Aro, I motioned for Jane and Alec to stay behind with Edward and Alice. I didn't want them to be anywhere close to Aro. I had seen the things he was capable of and the thought of something happening to either of them was enough to cause my dead heart to contract.

"Aro, my master, I would like to speak to you about the two Cullens that have arrived. They did not expose us in any way, and they have cause no trouble since their arrival. They simply came to try to convince me to come home with them, but seeing as I am happy here with you, I believe they will return to their home, with no farther trouble to us."

Aro looked from me to where I knew Jane and Alec were holding Edward and Alice. I only hoped Edward would listen to my warning. If not, there was no telling what Aro would do.

"Edward, my dear boy, would you mind stepping up to talk to me for a moment." Edward looked from me to Aro and back again. He didn't take his eyes off of me while he walked to Aro.

"Is my precious little Bella correct will you leave without causing us any trouble Edward?"

I heard the snarl building in Edward's chest and knew that this was not going to end well.

"She is NOT your Bella. And as for leaving without any trouble, well my sister Alice will go, but I will not leave until you let Bella go. I will not allow you to make her into a monster. She is better than that."

No! why couldn't he just stick to what I asked him to do? It was a simple request and now he just sentenced himself to death! And me as well, because there was no way Aro or his guard would hurt my angel without facing what I had in store for them. And if it meant I would die, so be it. But no one was ever going to hurt Edward.

"Edward, that was a very bad decision. Are you sure you don't want to reconsider it? I will give you one last chance to turn around and leave"

I watched as Edward rose to his full height and looked Aro directly in the eyes.

"No. I will not leave her."

I closed my eyes, knowing what Aro's next words would be.

"Then you will die"


	9. Confrontations

**A/N: OK so i know this is REALLY short and I'm sorry. I'm still not 100% sure what i want to happen yet. So this CH is pretty much a filler. Again I'm sorry I'm only human. ( not a vampire unfortunately) I LOVERS ALL OF YOU!!! (^_^)**

* * *

I stepped away from Aro, to stand between him and the love of my life. There was no way I was going to let him harm Edward. Aro seemed to be forgetting our little bargain. For him to make such a deal with me, then he must seriously want me. I planned to use that to get Edward out of here safely.

"Aro, it seems as though you are forgetting something we discussed earlier. But I haven't. I agreed to your terms, and I have not done anything to displease you, so I do not see a reason to break our deal. So if you don't mind, _master, _I would like to escort the Cullens out of here." I didn't look away from him as he stared me down. I took a peek into his thoughts.

_I can't let her go. She is to powerful. But the Cullen boy will not leave her. I cant kill him, she would seek vengeance for that. And she could single handedly bring down everything we have worked for. There really is no way out of this. I cant let her go. Unless…I must speak with Marcus. _

"Isabella, dear, if you would, please take the Cullens to the holding area. I need to speak with a few members of the guard. You are free to do as you please, as long as you remain within these walls."

I nodded, "Yes master." I turned to Jane and Alec. "The two of you may go else where. I will be able to handle the Cullens." They bowed to me and left. I began to walk toward the holding area, knowing Alice and Edward would be right behind me.

When we reached the holding area I kept my back to them. I could feel the awe and confusion rolling off them in waves. I sighed and turned to face them.

" Hey?" I said in a small voice.

Alice busted into hysterics. If she were able to cry, she probably would have been from laughing so hard. " Bella" she said between laughs. " you just stood up to Aro, of the Volurti! You commanded pretty much that he let us go, and you are afraid of what to say to us? I swear when Emmett hears this one!"

I couldn't help it. Alice just look so…Alice! I was laughing just as hard until my eyes caught the eyes of a very tense Edward. It killed the laughter right off my lips.

I walked up to him, keeping my eyes on the cold stone floor. I couldn't look into his eyes. I knew that if I did it would be the end of the composer I could barely hold onto.

"Bella." the pain in his voice was almost to much. It seemed no matter what I did, I would always cause him pain. The whole point in coming here was so I couldn't hurt him anymore. He deserve better than someone who did nothing but caused trouble and pain.

"Bella." he repeated. This time I looked up at him. Still I didn't look into his eyes. I looked at his hair, lips nose, anything but the golden abyss that would undue me. " I think you need to explain what is going on because if Aro called you his one more time, I can not say he will be able to walk away."

I took a deep breath and prepared myself to explain.


	10. Confessions

**Edward's POV**

"Explain Bella, or I will go and ask Aro myself" I watch as Bella closed her eyes. I hated it when she did that. It was the only insight into her mind and she closed me off.

"Edward, there isn't really anything to explain. Aro wants to keep me because of my abilities. He will do anything to keep me here. End of story." she still had her eyes closed as she spoke, so I knew there was something she was hiding from me. And she never answered the most important question.

"_Why _are you here Bella? What possessed you to fly around the world to Italy?" I heard her intake of breath and I knew I hit something. She was a horrible liar, even as a vampire.

"Um, well, uh, about that," she bit the bottom of her lip and I knew she would have been blushing bright red if she were still able. I knew before I even asked that I didn't want to know the answer, but I needed to know.

"Bella, answer the question." it was the harshest I have ever been with her, but it was the only way I was going to get an answer out of her.

"Edward, please don't be mad with me. I thought it was the best thing at the time. I didn't know…I didn't think…I was sure that you…"

She was nervous about answering me and that made me even more afraid to hear what she had to say.

I put my finger under her chin and made her look into my eyes. "Just tell me Bella, please."

I saw the pain in her eyes. It was unbearable to see her in so much pain.

"I-I was going to… I was planning on asking the Volurti to…well I was going to ask them to…_kill me_" she whispered.

Hearing her say the words, it sent shocks of pain all through my body. It was as though my cold, dead heart was breaking into a thousand different pieces. How could my beautiful Bella want these monsters to kill her? How could I have allowed her to feel as though this was her only option?

"Bella, h-h-how could you? What could possible posses you to try to end your life?"

She looked up at me and I saw a storm of emotions in her golden eyes.

_Edward, I don't know how to tell you. I thought that you were only back in my life because you felt guilty. Like you somehow felt you had to make up for something. So I thought that if I left you wouldn't feel the need to well feel guilty. And then once I was away from you I felt that emptiness again. Like there was a giant hole in me that only you could fill. Then I remembered something you said when we were watching Romeo and Juliet before you left. Something about how when James had me, that if you had been to late that you would have came here, to the Volurti and provoke them to kill you. I never thought Aro would want to keep me. He wants me so bad. If I ever did anything to displease them, or if I tried to leave they said they would kill you and our family. I couldn't let them Edward. that's why you have to leave. You have to leave me here._

it was to much. I sunk to my knees and put my hands over my face. This was all my fault. I told her about the Volurti. I left her unprotected and that vile Laurent turned her. I made her feel unloved so she come here to have these monsters _end her life. _It was all my fault.

"No Edward. Its not your fault. You didn't tell me to come here. I chose to. It was my decision and I am prepared to face the consequences of my decisions. Please don't blame yourself. Please." she took my hands off of my face. I looked into her pleading eyes. I didn't deserve someone so beautiful, sweet, and forgiving. God how I loved this woman.

"I love you to Edward. With everything in me. And I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. You are to good, and I don't want you to think any less about yourself. You're not a monster. I could never love a monster. Look all around us. These…these _things_are monsters." she placed her hand on my face. I moved before I could fully think. I probably wouldn't have stopped if I had been in control of my movements. When my lips met hers, I felt complete. Like my other half was back with me. It made the aching pain in my chest that had been there since the horrid day in the forest, disappear as though it never existed.

When she pulled away, it was as thought she took my heart with her.

"Edward, Aro is about to call us back in. whatever happens, please know I love you and I always will." her voice broke before she finished. It was as if she were telling me goodbye for the last time.

**

* * *

**

Bella's POV

I would do whatever it takes to get him out of here. I took a quick glance into the future. I saw Edward, Alice, and I standing in front of Aro. His face looked grim. I couldn't tell what he had decided, but whatever it was he didn't like.

When Jane walked in, I glared at her. I was still angry that she used her "gift" on Alice. I had told her not to hurt them. As if she could read my mind, Jane smiled smugly towards me.

"The master would like to speak to all of you now. If you would please follow me."

I took Edward and Alice's hands. It may be the last moments I spent with them and I wanted them to know I loved them.

When we reached Aro, I dropped their hands and bowed to him.

"Isabella. You have forced me to do something I wished I wouldn't have to do. But seeing as there is no other option, my hands are tied."

I look fate in the eyes. I was ready to die. I would distract them long enough for Edward and Alice to run. I would have to take Demetri out first, so the Cullens would be able to hide.

As I thought of my plans, Aro stood and I braced myself for the fight of my life. The fight _for _my life.


	11. Good to be Home

As I stared Aro in the eyes, I thought back to the past few months I had spent with Edward. I remembered all the nights he lay with me and watched me sleep. How embarrassed I had been when I realized he listened to me talk in my sleep. The day in the meadow, when we confessed how we felt. I may have only spent a few months with him, not nearly enough for me, but I knew no one had ever been happier than I had been with him. And because he was the source of all my happiness and the love of my life I would die for him.

I felt a hand wrap around mine and I glanced beside me to see Edward standing there. I smiled. How stupid I was to think he didn't care for me. I was a complete idiot to believe the words he had said in the forest that day.

"Isabella, I see how much you care for this boy, and I see that there is no way he will leave without you, nor will you sit back and do nothing if any harm was to come to him or his family. So I have decided what I will have to do."

I felt Edward's hand tighten on my own. I knew he would fight and probably die beside me. That is how it was supposed to be. He and I together. I gave him a light squeeze of my own and turned my attention back to Aro.

"Seeing as it would be a great loss to simply destroy you, I will let you leave with your love." I felt my quiet heart clench with joy.

"but" Aro continued "When we need you, and no matter what we need from you, you are to come and serve us. And I promise to you that we will not interfere with your life until we need you and only as long as we need you. Do you accept this offer. And keep in mind that this is a very generous offer we have bestowed upon you. Not many would have this chance."

I was thrilled. Edward and I could be together! I only had to do the Volurti's dirty work. While that was a down side, it was better than risking Edward's life.

"I do ask one thing from you Aro." Edward gently squeezed my hand. What was he doing? Aro was giving us a very rare opportunity.

"And what would that be Edward my boy" Aro appered to be as shocked as I was at Edward's actions.

"when you call on bella, I only ask that I be able to come along with her. It is unbearable to be apart from her for any given time. And if you would need her, that would mean it could possible be dangerous and I simply could not stand to let her face that alone."

Aro smiled down at Edward. I peeked inside his mind to see what he was thinking.

_These to never cease to amaze me. Their love is so strong. They would willingly give their life for the other. They even dared to stand up to us! _

I smiled at Aro's thoughts. I would sacrifice anything for him.

"Of course Edward! And please when you arrive back in Forks, give Carlisle my love. I have not seen him in so long."

Edward nodded his agreement. I looked to him and he smiled his crooked little smile and I felt as though I would melt.

" You all may go. But Isabella keep in mind all that we discussed. If you break your word, I will not hesitate to take action."

I nodded and reached for Alice as I hurried out of that horrid place. I didn't want to spend another second here. I longed for the cold, sunless town of Forks.

**

* * *

**

Edward's POV

I held heaven in my arms. Literally. Nothing was better than Bella. I kissed the top of her head. How close I was to losing her. I was so stupid.

"You did what you thought was best Edward. You cant blame yourself for everything. Things happen that aren't in your control."

Now I know why everyone would get so annoyed with me for being in there mind.

Bella laughed. "I'm sorry Edward. I'll try not to pry. It just now that I can know what you're thinking, it hard to resist."

It was now my turn to laugh. "now you know what it feels like for me. All these years being able to hear every thought a person has, and you the one person who's thought I need to know the most, you are completely silent. Its very frustrating."

Bella kissed me lightly on the cheek "I always tell you what I'm thinking. You are the one who is always so cryptic."

When the plane landed, we were greeted by the rest of my family. Alice went straight to Jasper. I knew what it felt like to not know if you would see the one you loved again and I felt guilty for causing Jasper and Alice to go through that.

Bella popped me on the shoulder. "I thought you said you weren't going to look in my mind" I teased.

She smiled and said " I wasn't. I could see the guilt on your face."

After my family, mainly Esme, was sure we were fine we started to head out of the airport.

"Oh Edward buddy, Rose and I brought your Volvo. Its parked beside Carlisle's car." Emmett smiled and handed me the keys to my car.

I went to open the door for Bella and something, a lot of something, fell out of the car and onto our feet. I had to look twice before I was sure of what it was.

I looked back at Emmett who was laughing. "That is priceless! It is going to be so much fun having you two around!" It is a good thing Emmett didn't need any air, he was laughing to hard to take a breath. Only Emmett would fill a car up with condom's and bring it to the airport.

Bella kissed me lightly on the lips and whispered "Its good to be home"


End file.
